To be finally confronted
With that so long avoided
To find warmth and depth.
So long it eluded me
Hid behind rigid patterns
Of thought and action.
No longer!
I can see it within
It is me.
The childhood lessons
Entrenched unwittingly
By those doing their best.
Some of the demons
I don’t have,
Others writhe intensely.
But inside resides
A good person
With strengths and faults.
No need to be perfect
Though that was long abandoned
Just need to be present.
No need to be everything
To others and not self
For you are important.
Not a pretty sight
When self importance
Becomes all there is.
But that is not
The struggle of most
Who fail at acceptance of the ordinary.
And not only accept.
Revel in the joy
Of going to the shops.
Meeting and connecting
So many ways to do this
But always be there.
Not lost in a role
Mask firmly in place
Keeping others away.
“What others think
Is none of your business”,
A wise person said.
Being yourself and happy
With this state of affairs
Easily stated, difficult to achieve.
Comfort with yourself
Who you are and where you fit
The essence of joy.
Brian Matthews
4/10/2020
