Author: brianedmatthews

I’m a retired psychologist and academic who enjoys the outdoors (sailing a 4.3 metre catamaran, long walks in the country and on our nearby beach, gardening), reading, writing poems and, at times, stories. I’m married, have five children and 10 grandchildren and am involved in a number of community groups (sailing club, choir, Show Society and others)

Sam’s 37

The birthday of a son,
No longer a child
And not so for many years,
Brings cause to pause
Reflect on what he’s become.

A husband and father
Of two chips off the block
As are all little ones
Drawing on genetic memory
Aided by the experiences you’d rather.

The curiosity of the child
Morphing into enthusiasm of youth
Facing the challenges of the day
Exploring and contributing
Soon leaving behind the wild.

A child never leaves the heart
Of a parent invested in
The happiness of their offspring
Knowing not what the future brings
But sure that you will be apart.

Life cannot be lived through children
Or grandchildren for a fact
Evolve and develop they surely will
Moving in directions unseen
With motivation from you hidden.

Not because they rail against you,
Though that can be a thing
But more because they need agency,
Different hills and valleys to explore,
So they can have their novel view.

Brian Matthews
21/11/2020

Self Compassion

To be finally confronted

With that so long avoided

To find warmth and depth.

So long it eluded me

Hid behind rigid patterns

Of thought and action.

No longer!

I can see it within

It is me.

The childhood lessons

Entrenched unwittingly

By those doing their best.

Some of the demons

I don’t have,

Others writhe intensely.

But inside resides

A good person

With strengths and faults.

No need to be perfect

Though that was long abandoned

Just need to be present.

No need to be everything

To others and not self

For you are important.

Not a pretty sight

When self importance

Becomes all there is.

But that is not

The struggle of most

Who fail at acceptance of the ordinary.

And not only accept.

Revel in the joy

Of going to the shops.

Meeting and connecting

So many ways to do this

But always be there.

Not lost in a role

Mask firmly in place

Keeping others away.

“What others think

Is none of your business”,

A wise person said.

Being yourself and happy

With this state of affairs

Easily stated, difficult to achieve.

Comfort with yourself

Who you are and where you fit

The essence of joy.

Brian Matthews

4/10/2020