Old Poems rediscovered in notebooks or on my computer

Old Poems

To find old poems
Read them through 
Recalling some of the context
But only rarely a clear recollection. 

Emotions are stirred
Nerves appear to jangle
The power of just a few words
Written when I was a different person. 

For change and evolve we do
Working through our dramas
Taking steps forward 
And often slipping back. 

 Brian Matthews 26/11/19

I found this in a notebook in my drawer 1/12/23
So many scribblings, many lost over the years 
and yet, occasionally, they re-emerge 😀

Unintentional Pain

Happiness is taken
So easily from another
The will of one imposed
The other left feeling
Minimised, unknown, irrelevant. 

A type of intimidation
By stealth achieved
The face reasonable
But feelings left hurt
It being your problem. 

A thing you like , modified
To meet not your will
Shaped and changed
Turned into not you
A very pale reflection. 

Fitting what they like
Afraid to confront this
For fear of hurting them
Challenging patterns unintentional
Learned so very, very young. 

One can have such wisdom
And yet to things be blind
No easy thing to confront
When deep love in the mix
No clear way to fix. 

Usually writing words
Helps me find a path
Confronting this seems too hard
Attacking core beliefs
Destroying self esteem. 

I’ll sit with it a while
Until the knowing comes
Fearful and uncertain
Of what this really means
Where this takes my dreams

Brian Matthews 28-6-2020

I found this amongst my poems on Dropbox. 
I’ve tried to recall the context, but can’t. 
I find it haunting. Maybe it’ll come back to me. 

Hobbies

Pottering in the garden
Is such a joy,
Tie up tomato bushes and pull weeds,
What more could I want?

I wonder what it might be
That brings this feeling?
The sky above and dirt on the hands,
The birds sing in anticipation. 

This is definitely not for all,
We are a diverse bunch,
But for many this type of toil
Is rarely an impost.

Hobbies are so meaningful in life,
Though some have none,
When life is full of work,
But few escape family obligations.

Interests do the day fill,
And that is important.
‘The Devil makes work for idle hands’,
Says the Calvinistic mantra.

Is physical activity more important
Than our thinking and discussion?
Each play a part in living,
How we each divide our time is unique.

Balance in life is needed,
As I am reminded when lingering too long,
Amongst the smells and sensations outside,
Yes, wear thin it would if hobbies were all. 

Brian Matthews 6/1/2020

I found a couple of close iterations of this 
but I think I’ll stick with this one. 

Time to reflect

When sitting at the computer,
Waiting for the utility program to complete,
Can seem like such a waste,
Stressing that tasks yet to do are undone.

But as with being placed on hold,
While phoning a company for advice,
This time can be useful,
Thinking, reflecting, writing, reading.

We do become so bothered,
By things for which we wait.
Time is there though for us to use,
In ways we may not otherwise.

What is it that we rush to do,
When we know all cannot be done?
How easy it is for priorities to slip
Below everyday trivia and concerns.

Embrace the moment for what it is,
An opportunity not yet experienced,
For exploration of self and others,
A lifetime of little things with meaning.

Brian Matthews 3/9/19

I do recall writing this. I had been running a program on my old computer to clean it up. Ultimately, it crashed and had to get a new one but I remembered reading a comment from someone who was asked how they managed to read so many books and they said that they read whenever they were on hold on the phone.